Sunday 26 February 2012

Cognitive Behaviour Thearpy for Couple Relationship


Couples Therapy & CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)
By: Meir Stolear (2009)
Significant pain and loneliness can be felt when we experience problems in our intimate relationships, whether we are married or not. CBT for couple’s relationship is a holistic approach that looks into interpersonal relationships (behaviour), sexual and ethical ways of life (cognitively and behaviourally) and understanding one another’s psychological and emotional worlds. Moreover, CBT for couple’s relationship looks into pragmatic factors, such as gender roles, relationships with friends and family, financial factors and individual attitudes to the use of money within the relationship.
What is CBT for couples relationship?
CBT for couple’s relationship helps couples (married or not) to make one of three choices for their relationship:
1) To understand and resolve conflicts with the aim to improve their relationship;
2) To accept and tolerate one another with the aim to improve their relationship;
3) To find amicable ways to end their relationship peacefully if a resolution to their difficulties has not been found.
CBT gives couples the tools to understand each other’s ways of thinking, to get insight into each other’s belief systems, understand each other’s behaviour better, communicate better, negotiate differences and solve problems.
Who can benefit from Couples Therapy?
It is assumed that most marriages or any other form of intimate relationship are less than perfect. As we usually pair with someone who is very different from us, each person brings to the relationship his or her own ideas, values, opinions and life experiences, which may not fit well with those of their partner. However, these differences do not have to lead to undesirable problems in the relationship: differences can be complementary, if used wisely.  Flexible minds, tolerance, unconditional acceptance, adaptability to one another’s wishes and needs can help the couple to greatly enjoy each other’s differences. Nevertheless, many relationships may come under extreme stress due to the following factors:
1) Your partner’s habits that once amused you are now frustrating you very badly;
2) Specific external factors, such as your partner’s career, your relationship with his/her family and friends, an affair, etc.;
3) Gradual disintegration of communication and caring.
Many people, once they have realised that their relationship is in trouble, wish or hope that the problems will just go away on their own. However, research shows that troubled relationships may only get worse and that may trigger a physical illness or psychological disturbances. Such disturbances can create other problems for the partners, such as poor work performance, conflict with children and other family members, and more.
Causes of unhealthy stress in a couple relationship: Infidelity; separation and divorce; addiction; poor physical, emotional or mental p: conditions; cultural clashes; poor finances or disagreements on ways of using the finances; unemployment; poor relationship with extended families; poor communication problems; sexual difficulties; conflicts about child rearing; infertility; anger and violence; changing roles (e.g. gender, children leaving home, retirement, etc.).